Welcome to My Blog!

You will find my sensitive, soulful insights and big thoughts.

There are  lots of ideas to help you to enjoy exploring your senses through art, sound and movement, nature and healing (see the stories and videos.)

I also talk about my work as a healer using an approach that I have created myself. I help people to find the line between sensitivity and anxiety, express their innermost passions and find their place in the world.

To contact me:    E-mail: jennie.online@gmail.com    Phone: 44 (0)1460 78285

Facebook Group – HSC The Soulful Way

Facebook Group – Spiritually Gifted Children – Healers, Teachers and Visionaries

I look forward to hearing from you 🙂

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Irlens Syndrome and Our Perception of Balance!

balance

 

 

 

 

Continuing my Irlens journey  . . .

I am trying to understand my perception of the world before I receive my Irlens glasses and start wearing them.  This feels important to me. I don’t want to just put my glasses on and shut off the world that I have been living in for forty plus years. I don’t want to take my glasses off and think ‘Oh here we are again in this world that is so wrong for me!’ No, I want to understand my Irlens experience on a much deeper level than this and learn to love the world with my glasses and without my glasses. Of course there is limitation here. Just glare from light gives me all sorts of unpleasant symptoms so I will probably nearly always will prefer the world through my glasses. This improves the symptoms and allows me to enjoy pattern as the glasses correct a tracking problem that I have due to the glare. I feel, though, that it is important to sort out my relationship with colour. 

I feel ok about colour every year until I get to May – around the time of my Birthday on 9th – funnily enough! Then when I go out for a walk surrounded by the trees that have all fairly recently come into leaf, I feel very phased and fatigued. The greens don’t look right to me. They don’t make me feel good. I am no longer able to drink in from nature. This affects me inside our home as well. It is as if I can’t see enough red in all the colours. I have to change the colour of paper I write on for a deeper blue. I am pulling all the deepest purples and pinks out of the wardrobe and insisting that my husband wears red. I start getting very stressed using my computer and need to use a virtual overlay as well as an actual overlay for comfort. I start with a blueish virtual overlay and then as we get closer to mid summer I need more and more purple – again because I am trying to find the red.

Then this year on 13th June something changed. The pinks and and purples looked more pink and purple. The blues started to appear more blue. And every other colour felt warmer to me. And on the 23rd of June (just after the summer solstice) I stopped needing my virtual overlay on my computer and went back to using white paper (even though I am writing in red!) 

At this point, though, confusion set in. I kept finding myself thinking ‘Is there enough red in that? Is there too much blue in that?’ And I realised that I have spent my life trying to find warmth in colour (red), getting over stimulated and then needing to cool it down with blue. I wonder if this is why I have this exact pattern in my life. It is echoed in my choice of friends and relationships (either too hot or too cool!) my approach to my work and calling (either too hot or too cool!), my approach to having fun (either too hot or too cool!). And the most debilitating way that is echoed back to me is in my continuously fluctuating temperature. (either TOO HOT or TOO COLD!)

Today I am trying to see colour as colour. If it is not making me feel unwell it is ok. I am trying to find some neutral in my life. Maybe if I could find some neutral I would stop being afraid of the heat and the cold! Maybe I would finally achieve my desired place of Balance!

If you a have any of this craziness in your life you might like to check out Irlens Syndrome

 

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Irlens Syndrome and Attention Seeking Behaviour

looking through window

What is Irlen Syndrome?

Irlen Syndrome is a specific type of perceptual problem that affects the way the brain processes visual information. It is not an optical problem.

For those with Irlen Syndrome, the brain is unable to process full spectral light. This results in:

It is exacerbated by environmental factors such as lighting, brightness, glare, high contrast, patterns and colours. Irlen Syndrome affects people of all ages.

My Story

Having Irlens Syndrome can make you feel that a part of you is missing. You feel like an outsider and an onlooker. Try as hard as you can, you never feel quite involved with activities and other people.  This might push you inward on a spiritual journey or to find your own passions that you can pursue mainly by yourself. Either way it can be a lonely path.

For example, when your family is having a barbecue on a beautiful summer’s day you are thinking about the glare of the sun and and the heat and the smoke. And beyond this you feel ‘charged’ for some reason that you don’t even understand. You feel that if one more person speaks you are going to break or if one more dish clatters you are going to scream. You feel like a charged bundle of hyper sensitivity.

This is what has always happened to me and the potentially most wonderful occasions have turned into my most miserable moments. I find myself wishing it was an ordinary day and then the disappointment at not being involved wouldn’t run so deep. Of course I try to be happy for others but this doesn’t stop both the disappointment and a feeling of inadequacy from setting in. And when it does, I feel like all I want is some attention – some sweetness from someone. I just want someone to understand my misery and lift me out of it.  I suppose as a child my family saw this in me and called it attention seeking behaviour. In fact just my lack of involvement was called attention seeking behaviour so talk about being kicked when you are down!

Now I understand this, it is all a little easier to bear. I don’t know yet know who I am when I have my Irlens glasses but I am looking forward to finding out. I wonder who I will be when I have the involvement with life and others that I have craved my whole life! Might I finally find my real sense of self and find where I fit in the world? I hope so!

If you have a child who follows you around and seems to drain you dry maybe they are feeling overwhelmed by light, other stimulus and all sorts of brain activity that you might never guess they were experiencing.  Maybe they are are feeling so ungrounded that they need your physical presence as close to them as possible. If you are raising your child to be trusting and secure,  behaviour that might be seen as ‘attention seeking’ could really be a symptom of some deeper discomfort. My suggestion is that you have them checked for Irlens Syndrome.

 

 

 

 

 

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Irlens Syndrome – What Colour is Missing in Your Spectrum?

 

This is my Irlens Syndrome Journey update.

umbrelaI had my second diagnostic yesterday which is really just a check that we had found the right lens in the first session.  I still chose a particular grey but just a shade lighter than last time. It made sense to me because the time I tried the original lens it felt perfect in most ways but I sensed it might be giving me a slight headache. I confirmed this to be true yesterday and after testing again, arrived at the same colour – just a shade lighter.

The other colour in my lens is red and I find this interesting.  I tend to buy a lot of red and pink things – having reddish curtains, rugs, chairs, clothes and particularly shoes! For the last couple of years I would only wear red or pink shoes!

Now I know the reason behind my red obsession. I am not picking up red in the other colours. In certain lights the other colours look lack lustre or actually make me feel unwell. I can’t look at acid yellow or some greens. If a white banner flicks up on my computer I get a pain in abdomen. If I look at blue light I feel I have been kicked in the stomach. My symptoms are this extreme.

I find myself looking for red in everything. I have a purple overlay on my computer. I choose pink shades for my walls. Even my blues, greens and oranges need to have enough red in them to be comfortable to my eyes. I am a sort of red detector! I didn’t realise I was doing it but I am assessing every colour on the quantity of red that I perceive.

When I put my chosen Irlens lenses to my eyes my imbalance with red is corrected. Nothing is outstanding or jumps out at me. It is just that I feel more comfortable and have a feeling that all is right for me. I felt more calm and let out a little calm sigh.

It is difficult to know how my Irlens glasses will improve my experience of life because the diagnostic (trying so many lenses) is confusing to the brain.  I won’t know until I try them and I will keep you up to speed with up-dates for you to follow! Until next time  . . .

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Irlens Syndrome and Separation / Social Anxiety

sad

I have spent my whole life trying to understand my difficulties through the wrong lens! I made the mistake of thinking all my issues were emotional/psychological.

Now I know I have Irlens Syndrome (a light processing disorder) I see things in a very different light!

I might not have/never have had separation and social anxiety after all.

When I have driven somewhere in glary or uncomfortable light or had to spend time under florescent lighting I have felt anxious, dizzy and shivery and have had a disassociated feeling.  I thought this meant I didn’t trust people or myself.  But now I realise that when I am with people in the right light and colours appear normal I feel my trusting, happy, confident and grounded self.

Irlens has caused me to work at my relationship with myself and the world in a way that most people wouldn’t dream of needing to do! The only way to feel comfortable in the world has been to find a way to be comfortable with my vulnerability and find a deep level of self acceptance.

This has been my journey so far. But when I have my Irlens glasses  . . . well, I’ll keep you posted!

Irlens Website

 

 

 

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Irlens Syndrome – The Only Light I Can Look at is the One at the End of the Tunnel!

hiding from glare

You know you have Irlens Syndrome when you have to walk into the bathroom backwards to pick up your towel off the floor after a morning shower just to avoid the glare of sunlight coming in through the window!

A Day in the Life of Someone with a Light Processing Disorder

As the light broke this morning and the birds began to sing, the light coming in my open curtains was too much for me. I felt agitated and jumpy and so got up to hang a red sheet in the gap. I chose red because it gives me a soft pink glow and still gives me some sense of light so I don’t feel shut in by the closed curtains.

I went into the bathroom and found the glare of the sun coming through the blind too bright. It immediately gave me a mild headache so I took my bath with my back to the window. I had tried covering the blind with a blanket but then the light became an eery blue and I didn’t like that either.

Next to finding some clothes. I looked in my wardrobe and saw my usual pink and blue clothes and thought ‘So what combination of pink and blue shall I wear today?!’ I do wear other colours in the spring, autumn and winter when the sun is less intense but in the summer I can only really manage blue and pink and absolutely no patterns. My response to light gives me a strange response to colour and also a tracking problem in my eyes (also caused by the light) makes it tiring and distressing for me to look at pattern.

Dressed, I turned on my computer and quickly found my virtual overlay. I already have an actual overlay to help with glare but I find with the virtual overlays I can choose lots of different settings for morning, afternoon and evening,  sunny days, high cloud days, low cloud days . . .!  If it is a good day I will find one that suits. Then I have to remember ‘flicker and flash’. I need to use my computer with minimum flicker and flash and you can’t always trust your computer not to do these things!

Having had enough of struggling on with my computer I think ‘What can I do without a screen?’ Well, I am musical and artistic so surely I could enjoy those things? Unfortunately not in the summer. All the colours of my paints look wrong and musical sounds add to my feeling of summer overload. Ah, so maybe I could make a family photo album? Unfortunately not in the summer. All the colours in the photos look wrong as do the greens and other colours when i just look out into our garden. Ah, so perhaps I could go out and wear my sunglasses? Unfortunately not because my sunglassses don’t really help that much. I will still feel shivery and phased and lacking in energy if I go in the garden on a sunny day.

I am a creative, ambitious, sociable  person who likes to be moving forwards and filling my life with good things but Irlens Syndrome makes this extremely challenging.  May and June are my hardest months when my life feels on stop.

In a few weeks I am going to get my Irlens glasses with special coloured filters just right for me. They will filter out the lightwaves that distress me, make the colours look funny, give me tracking problems and all the other symptoms I experience. I don’t know how this will be yet but it is a light at the end of the tunnel and at the moment it is the only light I can look at!

I will keep you posted about my progress.

If you experience any of the above you might want to check out the Irlens website.

Find out more about Irlens Syndrome

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Irlens Syndrome – Heat, Light, Intensity, Colour!

umbrela

Others may barely notice changes in temperature, intensity of atmosphere, the subtleties of light changing through the day and their feeling about every hue and shade of colour  but we do!

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Irlens Syndrome and Heat Sensitivity

 

warm hug

Me and heat haven’t been the best of friends and yet heat equals emotional warmth and love. Considering that where there is light there is often heat, have I been mistakenly shutting out both?

Is it time I let in the heat?

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Irlens Syndrome and Colour Sensitivity

colour

Me and my son are highly sensitive and highly creative. We love colour but in the summer everything changes. We look at our paints and they seem to repel us. We look in our wardrobe and it seems to disturb us. We look outside and even the colours of nature might all feel wrong. When we look at colour it doesn’t go blurry or anything but it seems to repel us.  We might feel overpowered or we might feel drained. We might feel jangled or we might feel depressed. Where is the happy medium? How can we feel happy and calm yet pleasantly stimulated and energised?

Why Do I Feel Like This?

What Colour am I?

Do I Show My True Colours?

 

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Highly Sensitive People and Irlen Syndrome

Irlens

About Irlen Syndrome

Irlen Syndrome is a specific type of perceptual problem that affects the way the brain processes visual information. It is not an optical problem.

For those with Irlen Syndrome, the brain is unable to process full spectral light. This results in:

It is exacerbated by environmental factors such as lighting, brightness, glare, high contrast, patterns and colours. Irlen Syndrome affects people of all ages.

My Irlens Test

I had my Irlens test today. I felt all the colours of the lenses as I was asked to put them up to my eyes. I felt whether they opened me out or shut me down. I felt the colours as a knot in my stomach or a flutter in my throat or a tingle in my feet sometimes. I then put up some lenses and suddenly felt happy. I said to the lady doing my diagnostic “I feel stronger  and taller and my diaphragm has suddenly opened up and I can breathe.” Everything was soft but clear. I seem to have a tracking problem and suddenly my eyes worked together so that I could see the whole image. Lines lined up and clear 3D seemed to jump out of nowhere. There was no glare. I could look at colours and patterns that used to repel me. When I walked the room didn’t move – just me. I cried because I never knew where my feeling of strength was hiding. I’ve always just had to be strong without the feeling of strength anywhere in my body. I suddenly felt grounded for the first time in my life.

If you have any of the symptoms or issues described at the top of this article you might want to check out Irlens Syndrome

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Highly Sensitive and Light Sensitivity

candles

You have to ask yourself “What is too bright?”

Am I too bright?

 

 

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