Hi, sorry I haven’t posted a diary for a while. I have had a blocked ear. If you have been following my previous diary entries, you will notice that I often spoke about my phorias. However today I didn’t. They have been a lot less significant to me since July. As you will hear, I am much more interested in my interpretation through my ears, than what is coming in through my eyes right now!
Tag: visual processing disorder
Phoria Sensitivity and Not Feeling Part of Anything
Phoria sensitivity occurs when you are sensitive to your eye-gaze. Your gaze may not be comfortable at the point where you are choosing to look, so it moves somewhere else!
I have lived with undetected phorias for most of my life and only just discovered them. I felt there was something wrong but couldn’t work out what it was. I have been seen as a hands off, nervous person who stands on the outside of situations and doesn’t get involved. In fact at some point during my journey, I realised that I had a big issue with involvement. As a result I did everything I could to be more involved with my life and other people. But this way of living had huge limitations for me. The more involved I got with my life, the more exhausted I became. And I ended up choosing the health of my nervous system over more involvement.
I have missed so many opportunities to be part of community and at the moment I am feeling sad about this. I wouldn’t say I am from a super close family but most members have stayed in touch and met up for special occasions. Most of the time I wasn’t there. I haven’t stayed in touch with friends or family friends.
I didn’t know why I was like this. I see myself as a friendly person and an open book. But I just didn’t have the energy needed to be part of something. My phorias made me feel that I was always being divided from myself. My vision, sound, temperature, food textures, touch, smell, taste, all felt like they had parts missing. How could I be part of something, feeling like a divided person?
Now I get it! GOOD VISUAL FOCUS is the answer. GOOD BINOCULAR VISION is the key. Now I have these things, for the first time, I feel that I could be part of something!
A Massive Answer to So Many Health Conditions – Eye Phoria Sensitivity
Hi, Please listen to my audio diary today.
Please follow me and you will hear the up and downs of my energy patterns through the year and how I have learnt to thrive, no matter the weather, no matter the light! You will find all my previous entries on my ‘Lightwatcher Diary’ page.
If you understand your state, then you can understand your needs. If you understand your needs, then you can fully live your life.
Jennie
Processing Food Textures and Undetected Eye Phorias
For the last two days I have only wanted ham sandwiches for lunch. The second of the two days I managed the texture of crisps. On the first day the crisps tasted ‘soft’ and on the second they tasted, well . . .crisp!
Then today I suddenly wanted texture again and had chicken curry, rice and courgettes.
What Changed?
On days one and two I knew I had an UP phoria but I had no glasses with DOWN prism to treat it. Now on day three I have an OUT phoria and have some IN glasses to treat it. When I put these glasses on, I was suddenly very clear thinking and I didn’t feel dizzy and disorientated any more. I thought about what I would like for lunch and to my relief I didn’t have to choose ham sandwiches!
What happens when I treat my phorias with prism?
A phoria can cause the image to go off centre on the part of the retina that is related to acuity and good colour perception. Just being a tiny amount off centre can cause issues with these things. Everything you see just feels ‘off’. Colour doesn’t make sense. There is slight distortion of depth perception, meaning that we don’t feel centred. This makes it difficult to have a good relationship with our physical world. It is literally an effort to pick up the knife and fork and engage with the food. A curry will look a ‘funny’ red and courgette, a ‘funny’ green, and rice just bland. Nothing draws us in to want to eat.
When I wear my glasses to treat my phoria, the image goes back on the centre of my retina. I feel centred and able to engage with the physical word. Colour appears fine and food appears appetising. I can’t wait to pick up my knife and fork and enjoy my lunch!
Micro-Prism Glasses – You Can’t have Too Many if they are the Help You Need
Hi, Please listen to my audio diary today.
Please follow me and you will hear the up and downs of my energy patterns through the year and how I have learnt to thrive, no matter the weather, no matter the light! You will find all my previous entries on my ‘Lightwatcher Diary’ page.
If you understand your state, then you can understand your needs. If you understand your needs, then you can fully live your life.
Jennie
The Left IN DOWN, Right IN DOWN Phoria – How it Feels
Today is a beautiful day and we planned an early cliff top walk at the sea. I have lot of pair of glasses now to treat my different phorias and felt sure I could find one in my collection for the phoria of the day. But I didn’t. Then I realised that my eye gaze was going IN and DOWN. This was a phoria that I hadn’t previously identified. Suddenly I understood why I felt a bit unstable and wobbly plus quite emotional at the thought of needing another pair of glasses!
We went down to the sea and when we arrived on the front (still in the car,) I noted that I felt a bit insecure. Also my light sensitivity wasn’t good. At this point I was wearing just prescription glasses with no prism. Then as the sun came come out, I guessed that my phoria would be an UP and OUT and my IN DOWN glasses worked very nicely.
However as we walked up the cliff, the weather changed and it became more overcast. I felt my insecure feelings again and the higher we got up the cliff, the more insecure I felt. I then actually felt that my eyes were going DOWN and IN. I felt hemmed in and a bit alone even though I was safe with my family. And in that moment I remembered lots of family holidays as a child where I felt exactly the same thing. Out of nowhere I would feel so insecure and in those moments no-one seemed able to reach me.
Now I know it is just a phoria and not a deep psychological emotional issue. I feel so relieved and like a weight as been lifted off my shoulders.
What Can I Do About it?
I need a pair of glasses with prism to redirect my gaze.
The prisms I need are Right and Left eye – Prisms O.25 OUT and O.25 UP. I make useful acronyms and I call these my ROULOU glasses. And I have ordered them. I look forward to wearing them and finding out just how good I could feel on a sunny day on the cliff tops in July!
To find out more about phorias please read: –
Where is Your Phoria Taking You?
Today I really wanted to work with a document on my computer where I am working with a lot of detail. It is a chart so I am also working with a grid. When I first got up and started this work, I felt great because I had the right pair of glasses on to treat a phoria. My phoria was RIGHT OUT and LEFT DOWN and OUT. So I was wearing prisms to bring my eyes to the correct position on the horizontal and vertical plane.
Then the day became brighter – just subtly- and I felt something change in myself. I could feel that I was starting to develop eyestrain and that this was causing me to tighten up in my jaw, shoulders and chest. I knew this was going to have a knock on effect on my breathing and my digestive system. Sure enough when I looked at the writing I was working on, my focus had changed. Whereas initially, I was focusing exactly on the words , now my eyes were going slightly above the words.
So I knew that my phoria must have changed. Now my eyes were RIGHT IN and LEFT OUT UP. And so I needed a different pair of glasses., which I don’t possess yet.
I can see a day of poor focus looming. It is a pity because everything is pretty clear. It is just that my eye are not looking where I intend them to look! And that is absolutely exhausting. I will have to have a big picture day and not a detail day for sure!
Why not have a go at the Reading Test and see where your eyes are looking today.
How Do You Feel About Your Eyes?
We don’t tend to think about our eyes that much, as long as we can see to do what we want to do in life. On this basis we decide that our eyes are ‘normal’ or close to ‘normal’. It is only when we can’t see well enough to get on with our lives that we go and see a vision specialist. The specialists test us and give us something that they say will make our vision ‘more normal’. Usually this is a pair of glasses with some sort of prescription. We think ‘Good, now my vision is normal again!’ and go away feeling pleased that this problem has been resolved.
But the question I am asking is ‘How do you feel about your eyes?’ And despite my optician saying that my vision is normal with glasses, it doesn’t feel ‘normal’ when I really think about it.
Some of the things that don’t feel normal: –
- Subjects and background seem to blend together too much causing me to see too much detail.
- I feel too sensitive to light and glare.
- My eyes feel like they are fighting with each other sometimes.
- My eyes aren’t really looking where I want to look, half the time.
- I am not tracking in my reading. I am looking at several words at once to get me through.
- I am looking away from things because pattern is disturbing me.
- I am looking away from things because colour seems wrong – lack lustre, too bright, like something is missing.
None of these things feel ‘normal’ to me. They were my ‘norma’l for most of my life but now I have discovered that I am sensitive to my changing phorias, I definitely know that they are not ‘normal’.
How do you feel about your eyes?
How are you seeing the world?
Are you happy with your perceived or someone else’s ‘normal’ or do you think there could be something else better out there for you?
Please take a look at my Help with Your Vision FAQ’s and get in touch if you would like help.
The Right Eye UP IN Left Eye UP OUT Phoria – How it Feels
When I have this phoria, my eyes are both essentially looking up and to the left. I feel as if I just don’t want to speak because nothing really makes sense. I can have a conversation but I won’t be able to join up the dots. And the more fixed someone is on something they believe, the more angry I am. I can’t focus on anything – not even what I believe – so why should someone else have a voice?
Feeling like this is terrible. I feel like a terrible person but I know I am not really. This is just how the phoria is making me feel.
What Can I Do About it?
I need a pair of glasses with prism to redirect my gaze.
The prisms I need are Right eye – Prisms O.5 OUT, O.25 DOWN and Left Eye Prisms O.5 IN and O.25 DOWN. I make useful acronyms and I call these my RODLID glasses. And I have ordered them. I look forward to wearing them when this phoria dares to turn up next time!
The IN Phoria – What it Feels Like
Oh – the IN phoria – not nice! Today my gaze is going UP and IN. It makes me feel trapped, hemmed in, as if I am living in a small space. It just feels very hard to see out, to follow a conversation and impossible to see somebody else’s point of view! I feel easily confused and ridiculously easily overwhelmed. I feel not centred and present, and this makes it hard to enjoy relationship
Don’t forget – I am only talking about an eye gaze. On first thought my vision seems completely normal. The next clue is that I feel slightly off balance. And after that, I slowly become aware of all of the above.
What Can I Do About It?
I need to work out the phorias in both eyes. For me today, my phoria in my right eye is In and UP. And my phoria in my left eye is OUT. So I need glasses with prism to correct this.
The prisms I need are Right eye – Prisms O.5 OUT, O.25 DOWN and Left Eye Prisms O.5 IN. I make useful acronyms and I call these my RODLI glasses. And I have ordered them. I look forward to wearing them when this phoria dares to turn up next time!
Focus Your Eyes, Focus Your Brain 