What is ‘My Balanced’ ?

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Working with the light I get a real feeling for how much of our ‘balanced’ or ‘not balanced’ state is dependent on our relationship with our environment.

If I perceive a lot of violet light I can feel intuitive to the point of feeling dazed. If I perceive a lot of yellow light I can feel emotionally connected to the point of feeling teary and overly vulnerable.

But what if I perceive the light as balanced?

Well, I will take you through my experience of the spectrum.

RED – I feel quite secure and quite grounded but still prefer to have people around me.

ORANGE – I feel outspoken and comfortable asking for my needs but I have a lot of words unsaid – still inside of me – because I don’t have the opportunity or know who or where to speak them.

YELLOW – I feel emotionally connected, finding it easy to give and receive love, but then there is a lot of love that I am not sure what to do with. It doesn’t necessarily translate into making cups of tea or ironing someone’s shirt or even a hug or ‘I love you’. No – it feels bigger than those things.

GREEN – I just about manage to digest the knowledge that I am in a fact a visionary and I am raising a visionary. My head feels full of doubts and questions and a certain amount of fear but I am able to quell these and press on quite well.

BLUE – I feel single minded and full of determination whilst at the same time trusting others to help me and support me. I am however very feisty and ‘do not suffer fools gladly’. Just to add another saying ‘I call a spade a spade!’

INDIGO – I find it possible to let go and be myself without too much second guessing. Fears, doubts and questions do still flutter around quite a lot though.

VIOLET – I run with my intuition. If I think of something random to do I do it without too many questions – like this blog post. I know it feels better to run and not look around too much. My fear of my intensity is the biggest block to really letting go.

So, this is ‘my balanced’ and in many ways it doesn’t sound very balanced at all! But as a human, a visionary and a person trying to embrace my vulnerability and be real, this is as balanced as I get. Maybe I should learn to be happy with it!

I wonder what your ‘balanced’ is?

 

balance stones

 

The Disregarded Art of Motherly Intuition

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I took my child to see an orthoptist about his vision issues when he was 9 and the first set of tests were fine. They were using cards and not a light to be seen! Then the orthoptist suggested my son would need a full examination that day in another room. I saw the colour drain from my son’s face and saw him holding back his tears.  Bright lights gave him terrible headaches and knock him out of sorts for hours. I reached over to touch his arm and said “It’s OK, We do everything as a family. You don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to. Or you could just give it a try. It is up to you.” I saw a pained look on the orthoptist’s face and looks were exchanged between him and his student who was in there observing the session. The look was saying startlingly obviously “ANXIOUS NEUROTIC PARENT ALERT” Things were written on bits of paper and the student was asked to take the message to the ophthalmologist. When we arrived in the ophthalmologist’s room she had a knowing look in her eyes. It said “I SEE YOU. YOU ARE THE ANXIOUS NEUROTIC PARENT!” My son was asked about the test and he said he would give it a go. The ophthalmologist said she would use her dimmer light first and it wasn’t long before my son refused to proceed with the test. Next came the expected – the criticism of Mum! The accusation that I was putting my anxiety onto my son by giving him the option of not taking the test.

How dare she?! She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know my story or the journey we are on.

I am NOT an anxious neurotic parent. I am simply a mother who knows herself, knows her son, knows her journey and TRUSTS HER INTUITION.

Please share your motherly intuition stories. I would love to hear them.

 

Colour Sensitivity – Lightwatcher Story – 27th Dec 2018

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Wow – the fog today!

Here in Somerset UK this is what it is like outside my window. My 11 year old son kindly took this photo for me with his new action camera.

Although it is thick cloud, the light appears almost luminescent and violet. It reminds me a bit of the feeling I have when we have frost or snow. There is a powerful sense of white. And all the blues and violets around me feel very strong – as if there is too much energy in them.

How you might feel:

Full of ideas but finding it hard to formulate them.

Full of energy but struggling to find what to put it into.

My suggestion:

Stay close to community whether that is family or the larger community.

Enjoy your powerful feelings even though it may feel difficult to harness them and utilise them.

Trust in your connection with God, yourself and all things and don’t  worry about your fuzzy brain!