I have spectral sensitivity and it is October. My serotonin is low. I eat chocolate truffles between all meals and need a bath when I have come in from being outside. And when I am outside I feel as if I am in a dream. I am fussy with food textures and even my softest bamboo clothes feel scratchy to me. I sometimes don’t want a hug. I am losing tones in colour and this particularly causes me to find food and faces difficult to look at. My sound sensitivity is at its peak and when people talk to me, I need to ask them to use fewer words. My movement sensitivity is at its peak. When people are excited around me, I need to ask them not to use their arms.
I have been making observations about my spectral sensitivity for 4 years now and this is the first autumn when I can honestly say that despite all my challenges, I am happy. I finally realise that I don’t need to connect in any particular way – I just am connected. I don’t have to connect through what I see, feel, touch, hear – I can tap into a deeper connection.
I was brought up from a young age to go to church. We we far from the perfect family and I am pretty sure my Dad just went because he liked the music. It was an experience for me though. It just happened to be a beautiful round church – one of the few in the country. I liked round things! And my parents bought me a service booklet for children with pictures. And how I loved this booklet! I don’t go to church now but I do carry my faith around with me and it is the place I go to when I have lost all my other ways to connect. When I feel at odds with myself and the world, my faith warms my heart and puts a smile on my face. 😊