Wow – the fog today!
Here in Somerset UK this is what it is like outside my window. My 11 year old son kindly took this photo for me with his new action camera.
Although it is thick cloud, the light appears almost luminescent and violet. It reminds me a bit of the feeling I have when we have frost or snow. There is a powerful sense of white. And all the blues and violets around me feel very strong – as if there is too much energy in them.
How you might feel:
Full of ideas but finding it hard to formulate them.
Full of energy but struggling to find what to put it into.
Stay close to community whether that is family or the larger community.
Enjoy your powerful feelings even though it may feel difficult to harness them and utilise them.
Trust in your connection with God, yourself and all things and don’t worry about your fuzzy brain!
Why did the light change yesterday?!
I have been sailing on through November and December thinking the light is good. I have been able to project manage our home improvements. I have even been able to sort CD’s and books and tolerate the constant chaos of stuff around us.
Then yesterday . . . my mood suddenly changed. And it wasn’t because it was Christmas Eve! I looked around me and realised I wasn’t seeing so much yellow but was seeing more orange in the light. This usually makes me feel a bit downhearted. I was gutted, realising that is would likely be another struggle of a Christmas Day.
And here we are . . Christmas Day . . . and lot of black cloud!! And grumpy wife and mum.
What can I do to cheer myself?
Sit in the only light there is and do my jigsaw puzzle that is full of whites and neutrals. This is the best Christmas Day Cloud Therapy there is!
The light is more blue than usual for December.
You may be feeling:
Very single minded, a bit detached, a bit lonely, a bit flitty in your thinking.
Find meaningful ways to connect with others and let you voice out – what you really think and feel. Follow the thread of your thoughts and ideas and see what wonderful place they lead you to.
Our home improvements continue . . . the aim being more about feeling better than the house looking better . . . but I am open to both!
My last post was about the wonder of our white walls and how they help me to think clearly and feel brighter.
Well, today, our carpet arrived and the sudden new colour had quite a surprising reaction from me. To describe it . . . it is a sort of beige with a white speck like a highlight . . not an unusual colour for a carpet at all. It was my son who chose the colour. I would have had something a little more gold with a little more red in it. But no . . my son didn’t want to see any red. It had to be this carpet.
When I first went into our sitting-room I noticed the texture and the colour both at once and I felt like I was at the beach! I decided to be open-minded and realised the beach feeling was OK. I somehow felt lighter yet grounded at the same time. Our last carpet was a dark browny red and I realised it had made me feel stodgy and overly grounded. It has contributed to feeling that I work so hard but never get quite to where I want to go. I am staying earth-borne when I want to be air-borne. With out new carpet i feel like I might be able to fly after all!
The other noticeable thing was that I felt initially that the beige took something away from my snow-cave white walls. I felt as if any yellow or green was not allowed in our room. But when I checked out my samples for the slightly goldy beige curtains and settees I could see that yellow and green had something to say to me. They were telling me that I need them. I have noticed over the days of living in my snow cave that although enjoying being so clear thinking I felt a little emotionally detached. Seeing the extra colours come into the room I feel more in my heart and it feels right.
I really struggle with the medium frequencies of orange, yellow and green. They can appear off balance, too bright, too dull, as the season pass by. But I still need them and maybe I can take them in through other colours like beige and gold and this becomes easier within the context of my white snow cave!
If you would like to know more about my experience of colour sensitivity and how to help yourself feel better by gaining a greater understanding of your relationship with colour you might like to have a look at my book.
Buy at Amazon
Firstly I don’t do know if I am a tetrachromat or not but I certainly see a lot of colours!
And there is something about doing a jigsaw puzzle with snow that really gets me going! I love working with the different shades of white. I can’t do the puzzle on a cloudy day – when I can’t pick up all the light frequencies – only a day when there is enough blue and violet light around to make the whites ‘sing’.
I haven’t blogged much this year as life has been so crazy that I just didn’t know where to start!
In the last year and a half my life has been turned upside down and it all started when I realised I have a very strange experience of seeing colour and seasonal light change. And just to make things a whole lot more complicated my son, who is 11, has something similar but even more extreme!
Essentially we don’t seem to be seeing a balanced spectrum and when we don’t see a particular frequency well we can’t enjoy looking at a colour that has that frequency in it. For instance we have blue curtains in our lounge and they look OK to me in the summer when I can see clearly blue and green in the light. However in the winter I see less blue and so they appear more green. This imbalance sets off all sorts of nervous system symptoms that I am just not in control of.
The more I have unraveled this conundrum the more amazed and scared I have been. How do I live in the world when I can’t always engage with colour? ‘I must find solutions’ has been my constant thinking. I can dress according to the light and eat food according to the light. This has helped a lot. Then I have sorted out cupboards and drawers and nearly exhausted Ikea’s supply of Sockerbit white boxes! If I can’t see it, my heart can’t grieve over it! And finally we are neutralising our house and not leaving one stone unturned. I am even replacing 32 sockets (well, someone is!) with sockets that have no red on the switches. Our home isn’t going to be bland though. I still need the colours of wood and a few paintings but I need a lot of white – as long as it is the right white – and I can’t see blue, green or grey in it and my son can’t see red in it!
We don’t yet know how all of this will change our lives but every time something dark leaves our house and this week it was fourteen 60’s brown doors (!) I see my son look a little lighter and I feel a little lighter too. I used to find solace in a lot of colour and pattern. I thought I found it comforting but how wrong was I?
Comfort comes from being in the ‘right’ place with the ‘right’ things and the ‘right’ people. Transforming our home is going to be a big change but I think I am happy to relinquish the clutter and be laid bare!
I have been investigating the relationship between light/colour sensitivity and sensory processing disorder.
My son and I both have an usual experience of seeing the coloured light waves in the atmosphere and we both have sensory processing disorder. The way we see light affects our perception of colour and can give us multiple nervous system symptoms. By understanding what we see we are able to minimise unpleasant symptoms and better enjoy our relationship with light.
I have put all our experiences and insights into my new book ” I Can’t Sit on That Red Chair!” I hope you find it helpful.
Click to Buy at Amazon – paperback
Click here to buy for kindle
How can you be tested to find the right coloured tints for yourself when you have an extreme sensitivity to colour?
When I was tested by an Irlen diagnostician I had quite an extreme reaction to most of the lenses. Just picking them up in my hands I would feel a change in my nervous system. This could be anything from a knot in my gut to tightness in my arms.
My Irlen Story
In my first diagnostic I felt really fortunate to find one pair of lenses that I didn’t react to – more than that, they felt pretty good – so I purchased them. I waited 2 weeks for my lenses and when they arrived they still felt good.
A month passed and my glasses started not feel so good . It felt like the light had changed as it was later in the summer now so I went through the process again. And like the last time, I found one pair of tints that worked for me with the light. 4 months later they didn’t feel so good. We were well into the light of Autumn. I found myself going through the process again. And true to form I found one pair of tints that worked.
So . . . now I had 3 pairs of glasses and I decided to record the days when I could wear them. After charting for a while I was disappointed to see that there were lots of days when they didn’t feel right. It felt as if there was some sort of interference but I didn’t know what.
A Surprising Solution
After a winter of no glasses we arrived in spring and the days started to get brighter. I felt quite defeated, I started to talk about the blue light and how it was bothering me. This was when my husband suggested I get some glasses to block the blue light. I went on Amazon and looked at the array of blue blocking glasses. I thought ‘How would these ever work with me as I am so super sensitive?’ I chose a random pair in a random style somewhat half-heartedly. They arrived the next day and I was really scared to try them knowing how bad it can feel if I wear the wrong Irlen glasses. but nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I dared to put them on. I was pretty amazed that I actually wanted to keep them on! Things looked very clear and I felt more alive somehow like I was suddenly watching TV in high definition.
I now have 3 pairs of blue blocking glasses – one for more violet days, one for more blue days and one for warmer dimmer lights. They all eliminate all of the unpleasant symptoms that I have been suffering with for many years. They are all just glasses that I bought off the shelf that I tried and tested myself.
What I have learnt
Whereas the Irlen glasses seemed to warm things up and bring out the reds, the blocking glasses block the blues. This eliminates my unpleasant symptoms and allows me to take in all the red I need. From my experience I am deducing that I naturally see too much blue and violet. This can happen at any time of the year. Irlen glassses only work occasionally as I am just too sensitive to the changing lightwaves. Blue blockers work in the spring sometimes and are amazing in the snow!
Are you too sensitive to tint?
I have spent my whole life wondering why I have this tension in my body, I can’t always think straight and I feel sort of insecure a lot of the time. I have really worked my socks off to get to the bottom of this and I thought after 12 years of very intense therapy and working with my issues around the clock, that at least one morning I could get up and feel relaxed!
But no! It seems I was wrong! There is something more than issues or anxiety going on. And it is all about my senses and my difficulty with processing. I can find it difficult to process light, colour, sound, taste, touch, motion, temperature and mine and other people’s emotions.
So what do I do? Do I hide? Or do I take my insecure self out into the world?
Well, I’m done hiding! I’m done waiting until I feel sorted enough to make me feel worthy of being in the world. I’m done waiting for others to give me their nod of approval that says ‘Yes, You’re ok now, You’re good enough to be one of us!” I’m even done waiting to feel secure enough to dare to step into the world.
I AM DONE WAITING!
I know I am quirky, I know I look tense, I know I can appear socially awkward, I know I can look insecure and scared. I know I can swing between seeming distant and a chatterbox. I know I don’t seem like a teacher or a healer and certainly not a leader . . .
But I am . . . and I AM HERE!
For me colours are changing all the time. Sometimes they have life and sometimes they don’t. And this is obviously a big problem at Christmas. This is my story this year . . .
I sorted through our Christmas decorations today and was shocked to realise that I struggle with the colour of most of them! With the orange light of this time of year, the reds all look funny to me and most of the golds look too orange and sort of heavy and dull. I always struggle with green so this year we are making a buff willow tree. I will post a picture if we ever get it together! I am keeping my shell decorations. I like the way the light shines through them. And I am keeping some baubles that are the right shade of gold and a bit glittery and to me have life in them. I’m keeping our buff coloured porcelain birds in hats and scarves that sit on the mantlepiece and I am keeping 2 white fluffy doves for our new willow tree! I am happy with my minimalist Christmas collection. I will be adding more things I truly love (and not just those I think I should like) over the years!!
My husband is amazed that I have never identified my problem with colour until now. To be honest, so am I! I have always wondered why I got so hot and stressed at Christmas when we decorated the house and opened the presents. I always couldn’t wait to clear all the boxes and wrapping away and then I tried to make sense of all the colour and clutter that was left behind. I would look at it and know that something was wrong but until this year I never knew what it was!