Tag: depression

You Can’t Feel Homeliness if you Feel Separation

This is the first autumn that I ever really felt the feeling of homeliness. This is the first autumn that I have had glasses to treat my phorias.

October is usually a very tricky month for me. I usually feels ad odds with myself and with the world. But this year I found my phoria. My eyes are going Up and IN. I have have this on one eye or both. And the UP and IN phoria I find is one of the hardest to bear. You feel shut in and confused and cross with the world.

Wearing glasses with prism that bend the light so that what I am looking at meets my gaze, feels like nothing short of a miracle. I feel cosy and very centred.

Autumn used to mean struggling with the change of colours of leaves and the drop in the light. I didn’t like the pumpkins of halloween, the fireworks of bonfire night or even the decorations of Christmas. I just couldn’t process all the colour and pattern.

This year I am loving the leaves, I am enjoying craft, I am singing little songs to myself, playing games with my family and cycling. I am loving life. And looking ahead, I am full of hope that I will find the right glasses as autumn turns to winter. And I will experience more new things – things I have never done before, feelings I have never had before, like the true feeling of homeliness.

Lightwatcher Diary – The Red Light of September

Hi, sorry I haven’t posted a diary for a while. I have had a blocked ear. If you have been following my previous diary entries, you will notice that I often spoke about my phorias. However today I didn’t. They have been a lot less significant to me since July. As you will hear, I am much more interested in my interpretation through my ears, than what is coming in through my eyes right now!

Phoria Sensitivity and More about the Significance of Knowing You Belong

Today, I went to a music festival with my husband and 14 year old son. We had agreed to go and have a look around, play a piece of music on our whistles and keyboard, have a pub lunch and come home.

When we arrived at the sea front where there were a few buskers dotted around up the prom, my son looked forlorn. In fact he had looked forlorn for the entire walk from the car through a beautiful park. When I asked him what was wrong, he said “I don’t belong here”. He went on to say that this was because he had no purpose. I pointed out that only 5% of people there had instruments and the rest of the people were just the general public. I told him that being him in that place was enough. His mood lightened a little but he was clearly not convinced.

We went back to the park, where my son opened up more, saying that there was no purpose for his existence. It was heart breaking to hear and yet I understood exactly what was behind those words. It was the feeling that I had as a child, a feeling I have had as an adult, of being displaced and detached from everything and everyone around you.

I convinced my son of all of his qualities, all his gifts and all the purpose that he has in his life. Then I addressed the feelings. I know that at the root of the feelings are undetected eye phorias. I know this because today I was wearing a pair of glasses prescribed by myself with just the right strength and direction of prism in to make me feel OK.

And I felt beyond OK. I was calm in the face of all the difficulties, having to give several wellbeing lectures along the way with people around me, and when we got to the pub and they had run out of gammon and chicken (my goto meals) I just refused anything else and ate the sourdough sandwich in my bag. The point is that I wasn’t angry with anyone or anything, because I felt that I belonged. I had a right to be there and a right to have my needs. I understand now why in the past I have got angry and upset if things didn’t run smoothly. It was all because I didn’t feel I belonged.

If you or someone you know are struggling with depression or negative feelings, it could be as simple as a feeling that you/they don’t belong. And the answer could be simple too. You just need to find your so far undetected eye phorias and then you/they will see the world through a whole new lens.

Phorias and Not Feeling Part of Anything

About Phorias

Help with Your Vision FAQ’s

A Massive Answer to So Many Health Conditions – Eye Phoria Sensitivity

Hi, Please listen to my audio diary today.

Please follow me and you will hear the up and downs of my energy patterns through the year and how I have learnt to thrive, no matter the weather, no matter the light! You will find all my previous entries on my ‘Lightwatcher Diary’ page.

If you understand your state, then you can understand your needs. If you understand your needs, then you can fully live your life.

Jennie

About Phorias

Help with Your Vision FAQ’s

It’s Impossible to Enjoy Music with 4 Ears (Phorias!)

Since we discovered our sensitivity to our phorias, my son and I are getting our lives back, one pair of glasses at a time! I am playing the electric violin and my son is playing the guiro.

Prism Lenses – Just Bits of Plastic that Might Help You!

Working with my phorias (eye gaze and muscle imbalance) I require lot of pairs of glasses. This is because my phorias move around a lot. I can test myself with the maddox rod test to find out where my phorias are and then choose the glasses to treat that phoria. Sometimes the glasses are on point and sometimes they are not quite on point but they will do. Sometimes I am surprised by which glasses help me. They don’t seem to quite match the test results. Sometimes one eye partially suppresses to allow my other eye to take up the reigns for a while. This could be better than the experience of both eyes fighting.

What I learnt is that my lenses are just bits of plastic with prism in that can help me. I play around with them like someone trying on shoes or hats. I enjoy them – my trial prism lenses are very precious to me! Some I have from a set of trial lenses and some I just popped out of a pair of cheap glasses that I bought with just prism in. So far it has been impossible to buy 0.25 diopter prism trial lenses so I had to do the popping out thing for these. I also sometimes combine glasses – wear one pair and fold the arm back on another to use the lens as an extra one. I work with any resources I can find to learn about my eyes and establish a relationship with them and my experience of the changing light.

Working with prisms is not an exact science. My husband who is no-where near me on the scale of sensitivity was trying out some prisms to find the up and down rotation. He found that for prism diopter 3 – 5 he was actually experiencing the prism upside down. The image was moving in the direction he didn’t expect. We didn’t have any answers for that. That was a mystery. In the same way prisms are doing mysterious things for me every day. I don’t fully understand how my brain relates to prism but it definitely likes it!

Prisms lenses – just bits of plastic that might help you!

How do I Know if I am Sensitive to My Eye Phorias?

Simply ask yourself these questions:

Do I sometimes:

Feel as if my eye is being pulled or stretched (this being even more extreme outside sometimes?)

Have extreme light sensitivity

Lack co-ordination for no apparent reason?

Struggle to walk in a straight line?

Feel as if my eyes are fighting with each other?

Struggle to focus on something because I am distracted by the background (subject and background both demanding the same attention?)

Have cognitive processing difficulties and feel easily overloaded by information?

Feel as if mentally I am going round and round in circles?

Feel that my eyes can never rest, even at night?

If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, then you could be sensitive to your phorias (direction of gaze). You may be aware of small muscle imbalances that occur when you change direction of your gaze. This could occur as a result of being stressed or tired but with more sensitive people, it can be triggered simply by changes in the ambient light. These imbalances, though subtle can have a massive impact on your quality of life.

If you would like to know more please go to Help with Your Vision or just get in touch and have a chat.

Help, I Have Four Phorias!

What is a phoria?

A phoria is a latent (hidden) eye deviation. The eyes appear to be straight, but when covering an eye and breaking fusion, the eyes assume a position away from normal alignment. Most people have a very small phoria if tested, but a large phoria makes it hard to keep the eyes aligned. This could occur as a result of being stressed, tired and it can be triggered by changes in the light.

If a large amount of phoria exists, your eyes are will not rest on the subject you are focusing on. Your gaze will move elsewhere. Keeping both eyes fixated on your chosen subject requires an effort by you. 

However, a sensitive person can be affected by a small phoria. People not sensitive may be able to ignore any small amounts of distortion but sensitive people can’t. Any lack of congruency, any deviation from the whole is a problem for the sensitive person.

I Have Four of Them!

UP OUT (uncorrected) – makes me feel like the right side of my head is fuzzy and it affects the nerves in my shoulders and arms. I feel pulled away from what I am trying to think about.

OUT (uncorrected) – makes me feel that I can’t think clearly at all. I don’t want to think about anything outside of my immediate experience. Everything feels too much.

IN (uncorrected) – makes me feel trapped like I can’t see out. I feel like I can’t move. I am inflexible.

IN OUT (uncorrected) makes me feel low hearted and negative. My body aches especially the muscles in my legs, and my knees feel suddenly weak.

All I Need is Prisms

How simple can that be? Fixing these problems with just a pair of glasses? But it works. All you need is a prism sending your gaze back in the direction you intended it to be in. Phorias could play a part in depression, anxiety, fatigue, dyspraxia, ADHD and more . . .

If you would like help looking to see if you or your child have a hidden phoria, please get in touch below. One simple appointment, one pair of glasses and you could feel like you have your life back, or you could know what life is for the first time!

The Emotional Psychological Connections of Optics

We need direction to use power. We need power to use direction

Our experience of power in life can be affected by astigmatism

Our experience of direction in life can be affected by Strabismus (squint)

Neither always show themselves in the darkness of the optician’s room. If you are sensitive or suspect processing issues, ask to get checked in the daylight.

Why Don’t Some Children Want to Wear Clothes or Eat Food?

When children say that they don’t want to wear something or eat something, it is not a disorder. It is a gift. They are basically saying that the piece of clothing that we are asking them to wear, or the food we are asking them to eat are not a match for their deeper selves in that moment.

Your child is likely picking up information about their environment that you as the parent may just not perceive. They may know that the light is slightly more blue today and so they shouldn’t wear a deep blue dress. They may know that the light is slightly more red today so the pink top they wore yesterday will overpower them. They may know that the light feels a little more blue today and that means they can only eat crunchy food and they won’t like scratchy textures or harsh sounds. They may know that the light feels a little more red today and they need something soft on their plate and would like something soft to cuddle.

What your child has is a gift to detect the subtle changes in energy inside them and all around them because they detect subtle changes in the light spectrum. If they are given the support to hone their gift, they will be able to use it to nourish themselves and make themselves and others feel good. Without the right kind of support and by medicating the problem, their gift could be lost to the world for ever.

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