My son, who is 12 will only wear grey. And I will happily and confidently say “My son will only wear grey soft clothes – no waist bands, no pockets, no collars, no buttons.” I don’t flinch as I say these words.
Then this year I have learnt that I need to wear white soft clothes. I need to block UV, wearing bamboo clothing. And this clothing only comes in black, grey and white. I can’t wear black or grey so I have to wear white.
The other reason I have to wear white is because I am colour sensitive and most colours don’t make sense to my brain. I see them, I even appreciate them, but they don’t make sense. So even when I don’t need to block UV, I still wear white.
When outside I can wear pink or pinkish purple shoes and coats and a blue hat but that is it. I mostly wear pinkish shoes, a white hat with a piece to cover my neck and a purple scarf. I feel conspicuous, strange, eccentric. I feel like people may think I am trying to make a statement when I am only trying to make myself feel comfortable.
What do I boldly say about my son – “He will only wear grey.”
What should I boldly say about myself? – “I will only wear white.”
How come we find it easier to let children off the hook for being different but when it comes to adults we tend to move into judgement? As adults we have more conditioning to undo. It is a tougher ride but being ourselves, no matter how different we feel, is the only path to real freedom . . . and I, for one, have chosen to walk that path.
Are you worried about feeling different? Is there anything blocking you from being your real self? I would love to hear your stories. Please comment below.
Every year right in the middle of the year, my light sensitivity symptoms become more severe than usual. I start to feel that I am constantly overheating especially if I go outside on a sunny day. And even if I stay inside, I feel that something too powerful for me is coming in through the window. I avoid standing less than a couple of metres from a window if I can do this, or I shut the curtains. It is not just the heat feelings. I also feel agitated, nervous and have digestive issues.
This year I started to look into the idea of UV blocking things. I started with a UV blocking umbrella which I used in the garden on a sunny day. I noticed I felt more calm and no heat problem as I would usually get. I didn’t suddenly need to run inside. I lingered and felt that I could think straight and actually have a conversation. Pleased with my findings, the next thing I bought was a UV blocking beach tent. It hasn’t had much use yet but I know it has potential. Needing a larger space, I then bought a UV blocking gazebo (as in the picture). We had a simple white gazebo before but somehow the idea of it was always a lot more pleasant than actually using it! I would immediately feel my symptoms worsen as I stepped into it but I didn’t know why. With our new gazebo, the temperature is about 5 degrees lower than in our last one and the light, heat and UV is reflected. I have been drawn to sit in this gazebo on some sunny days and found the experience very pleasant.
So now I had my experience outside all sorted out, I needed to work on my experience inside. I would walk into to a room in the middle of summer and not really know what to do with myself – the symptoms were so unpleasant. So we bought some UV blocking window tint and had moderate success and stress trying to apply it to a couple of windows! It made an immediate difference and makes what I see through the window appear softer without losing any of its life. The tint I chose is very light – the sort they use in museums to stop paintings and other artefacts from fading. We plan to tint the windows throughout our whole house now.
So this brings me to . . .the wonder of UV blocking clothing! First of all I read about it, and the articles I found suggested it was a bit of a gimmick. They said that all you need to wear to block UV is fabric with a fine weave, and dark is best. Well, I had nothing to lose by trying some so I bought myself a white UV blocking top. It was a high UV day when I tried it on. I was struggling to use my computer one afternoon and I have a pop up office downstairs where I sit about 2 metes away from a window. I put on my new top and instantly felt better. I felt less hot and more calm. I usually wash things before I wear them when they are new but once it was on, I wouldn’t take it off! I didn’t take it off until bed time and then it was straight on again in the morning!
Next I bought myself UV blocking trousers. Now I wasn’t sure about wearing white trousers but being colour sensitive I can’t wear black or grey, and colours were limited. When they arrived I gave them a disdainful glance and left them in the box for a week or so! Then one day I was sitting at my computer with my usual mild stabby pains in my gut and thought, “maybe I do need to wear UV blocking trousers. Maybe I could eliminate a few more symptoms.” So I put them on and they were wonderfully comfortable and as with the top, I immediately felt my symptoms improve, and wouldn’t take them off! I felt more grounded and present in my legs and my gut felt more calm.
Now I wear UV blocking clothes most of the time. My theory is that because I experience the spectrum as imbalanced, UV is affecting me more than others. It is particularly problematic on days when I don’t perceive enough red light. And I don’t think it will just be in the summer because I have always had unpleasant symptoms all year round.