Why did the light change yesterday?!
I have been sailing on through November and December thinking the light is good. I have been able to project manage our home improvements. I have even been able to sort CD’s and books and tolerate the constant chaos of stuff around us.
Then yesterday . . . my mood suddenly changed. And it wasn’t because it was Christmas Eve! I looked around me and realised I wasn’t seeing so much yellow but was seeing more orange in the light. This usually makes me feel a bit downhearted. I was gutted, realising that is would likely be another struggle of a Christmas Day.
And here we are . . Christmas Day . . . and lot of black cloud!! And grumpy wife and mum.
What can I do to cheer myself?
Sit in the only light there is and do my jigsaw puzzle that is full of whites and neutrals. This is the best Christmas Day Cloud Therapy there is!
So what do the colour sensitive do in winter?
Well, I guess we are all different, but for me the light feels very clear sometimes in the winter and and this makes my head feel more clear than in the summer when I really struggle to process.
I love to create with music in the winter because I am happier with sounds and rhythms and actually enjoy hearing them dancing together!
I hope you enjoy my first guitar loop video!
The light is more blue in my perception than usual for December.
Perceiving blue light makes me feel:-
Very single minded, a bit detached, a bit lonely, a bit flitty in your thinking.
What Do I Do?
Find meaningful ways to connect with others and let you voice out – what you really think and feel. Follow the thread of your thoughts and ideas and see what wonderful place they lead you to.
Our home improvements continue . . . the aim being more about feeling better than the house looking better . . . but I am open to both!
My last post was about the wonder of our white walls and how they help me to think clearly and feel brighter.
Well, today, our carpet arrived and the sudden new colour had quite a surprising reaction from me. To describe it . . . it is a sort of beige with a white speck like a highlight . . not an unusual colour for a carpet at all. It was my son who chose the colour. I would have had something a little more gold with a little more red in it. But no . . my son didn’t want to see any red. It had to be this carpet.
When I first went into our sitting-room I noticed the texture and the colour both at once and I felt like I was at the beach! I decided to be open-minded and realised the beach feeling was OK. I somehow felt lighter yet grounded at the same time. Our last carpet was a dark browny red and I realised it had made me feel stodgy and overly grounded. It has contributed to feeling that I work so hard but never get quite to where I want to go. I am staying earth-borne when I want to be air-borne. With out new carpet i feel like I might be able to fly after all!
The other noticeable thing was that I felt initially that the beige took something away from my snow-cave white walls. I felt as if any yellow or green was not allowed in our room. But when I checked out my samples for the slightly goldy beige curtains and settees I could see that yellow and green had something to say to me. They were telling me that I need them. I have noticed over the days of living in my snow cave that although enjoying being so clear thinking I felt a little emotionally detached. Seeing the extra colours come into the room I feel more in my heart and it feels right.
I really struggle with the medium frequencies of orange, yellow and green. They can appear off balance, too bright, too dull, as the season pass by. But I still need them and maybe I can take them in through other colours like beige and gold and this becomes easier within the context of my white snow cave!
If you would like to know more about my experience of colour sensitivity and how to help yourself feel better by gaining a greater understanding of your relationship with colour you might like to have a look at my book.
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Firstly I don’t do know if I am a tetrachromat or not but I certainly see a lot of colours!
And there is something about doing a jigsaw puzzle with snow that really gets me going! I love working with the different shades of white. I can’t do the puzzle on a cloudy day – when I can’t pick up all the light frequencies – only a day when there is enough blue and violet light around to make the whites ‘sing’.
I haven’t blogged much this year as life has been so crazy that I just didn’t know where to start!
In the last year and a half my life has been turned upside down and it all started when I realised I have a very strange experience of seeing colour and seasonal light change. And just to make things a whole lot more complicated my son, who is 11, has something similar but even more extreme!
Essentially we don’t seem to be seeing a balanced spectrum and when we don’t see a particular frequency well we can’t enjoy looking at a colour that has that frequency in it. For instance we have blue curtains in our lounge and they look OK to me in the summer when I can see clearly blue and green in the light. However in the winter I see less blue and so they appear more green. This imbalance sets off all sorts of nervous system symptoms that I am just not in control of.
The more I have unraveled this conundrum the more amazed and scared I have been. How do I live in the world when I can’t always engage with colour? ‘I must find solutions’ has been my constant thinking. I can dress according to the light and eat food according to the light. This has helped a lot. Then I have sorted out cupboards and drawers and nearly exhausted Ikea’s supply of Sockerbit white boxes! If I can’t see it, my heart can’t grieve over it! And finally we are neutralising our house and not leaving one stone unturned. I am even replacing 32 sockets (well, someone is!) with sockets that have no red on the switches. Our home isn’t going to be bland though. I still need the colours of wood and a few paintings but I need a lot of white – as long as it is the right white – and I can’t see blue, green or grey in it and my son can’t see red in it!
We don’t yet know how all of this will change our lives but every time something dark leaves our house and this week it was fourteen 60’s brown doors (!) I see my son look a little lighter and I feel a little lighter too. I used to find solace in a lot of colour and pattern. I thought I found it comforting but how wrong was I?
Comfort comes from being in the ‘right’ place with the ‘right’ things and the ‘right’ people. Transforming our home is going to be a big change but I think I am happy to relinquish the clutter and be laid bare!
I have been trying to understand my sensitivity to light and colour from many different angles (most of them scientific) but recently something has led me to think about it all from a more spiritual angle.
As I have been observing my colour sensitivity symptoms over the last 7 months I have noticed that they correlate with me seeing a predominance of one coloured light in the atmosphere. And also I seem to be experiencing symptoms in a specific area of my body – different for each coloured light. So . . . in the summer when the light felt more blue to me, the symptoms were around my head and chest. But if it got stormy and there was a lot of cloud I would see the light as yellow and my symptoms would drop lower in my body and affect my mood. I have continued to study my reaction to coloured light and these are my findings:-
Red Light – I feel this in my lower abdomen. It feels like intimacy and makes me feel stronger in my legs. I feel more secure and grounded.
Orange Light – I feel this in my upper abdomen. It feels like strength and causes me to be more outspoken but I can feel a bit separate from other people. I enjoy collaboration
Green Light – I feel this around my stomach. It feels like life but I need more time to digest the things of the day than usual.
Yellow Light – I feel this around my heart. It feels like warmth. I am more acepting of myself and others. I am more affectionate and like more affection. I can sometimes feel overly vulnerable.
Blue – I feel this around my chest and throat. It feels like independence of thought. I can feel very strong in my own ideas and find it easy to speak my truth. I can sometimes feel a bit lonely
Indigo – I feel this around my shoulders and neck . It feels like belief in the greater plan. I feel strong and resolute. I am looking for the light in the darkness. I can feel a bit overwhelmed by the work I have to do.
Violet – I feel this around my head. It feels like clarity of thought and I find it easier to let go to my intuition. I can be impatient and don’t have much time for anything that doesn’t feel really meaningful.
We all have our story to unfold. I just wanted to share my story. What is your story?