What is Connection to a Child?

 

happy thoughts

I learnt a big lesson from my 10 year old son today.

He is not seeing colour well so we bought him some enchroma glasses. He said the outdoor ones were too strong so we bought him some indoor ones.  He tried them out today and thankfully he said things looked better. I started asking him about colour and he said “Don’t ask me about colour. Colour doesn’t matter. It just matters that I feel better.”

I just thought this was an amazing thing to say. As someone with Irlen Syndrome, colour doesn’t always look great to me. I’m bothered and disappointed. But today I realised, like my son, that colour doesn’t matter. What matters is that I feel ok,

“So I can’t connect with colour today . . .then  I have to find my connection and my sense of security deeper down in myself.”

“So I can’t connect with pattern today and see the big picture clearly . . . then I have to feel my deeper rhythm and my deeper sense of purpose.”

Maybe this is why some of us struggle to connect in the ways that others easily connect – because we have to dig that little bit deeper!

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About Being Spiritual Beings!

child praying

We can’t meditate our humanity away from us any more than we can pray our divinity closer to us.

Embrace Your Humanity, Celebrate Your Divinity, Take God’s Hand and Reach for the Stars!

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Sensory Processing Disorder – Could Light/Colour Sensitivity be the Underlying Cause?

I guess many of you have you seen the Enchroma videos on You Tube where colour blind people experience seeing colour clearly for the first time – well, here is ours’!

Our son who is 10 now, has experienced all sorts of sensory issues but we had no idea he could be colour blind. He took a test on the internet and said he couldn’t see all the colours. I still dismissed it but we decided to take him for a test at the opticians. 2 days before we went I thought I would check how he saw colour. That was when our eyes were opened. He seems to see a dark and murky world full of blacks, browns and funny blue – like grey or black (which he dislikes intensely) and white. He speaks of things being dim and getting dimmer as the seasons progress from summer through to winter. We didn’t understand why he would dread the summer and  cry when he saw a heatwave on the weather forecast. He didn’t like to see the big blue sky. It turns out he also dislikes autumn as there are too many colours and he even struggles with Christmas.

It hurts inside as I write this but I think it should be ‘out there’. Our son didn’t show as having any standard colour blindness in the tests he took. He is extremely sensitive to light but we didn’t find any help down the Irlen Syndrome route. And so out of sheer desperation we tried some Enchroma glasses. And at last . . . see a little light at the end of the tunnel.

Now we are well into Autumn in the UK the Enchroma outdoor glasses aren’t working. They only work in bright light so we are saving up for the Enchroma indoor ones.

I hope you enjoy our Enchroma video!

 

 

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Could Intensity Be Enough Sometimes?

Intensity

It’s October. I live off intensity!

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Who Shall I be? ME – just ME!

flowerI have always wanted to BE something. I thought if I could just BE something then I would feel ok about myself and others would be happy with me.

So what should I be? Shall I be the music teacher as I have a musical gift? Should I be the artist as I have a desire to express my childlike spirit? Should I be a healer so I can feel part of other people’s positive change? What shall I be?

ME – just ME!  The person who gets up in the morning and says to God “What shall I do today?” The person who looks out of the window and gets carried away with seeing a flock of crows perched on the branches of our big tree or the pounding of the rain on our driveway . . .the person who may pick up a musical instrument only if it feels ok to feel the strings, sense the rhythm and hear the tones TODAY  . . .the person who is looking for a hug and kind words by 10:00 in the morning . . . the person who finds the green of the grass too bright some days, doesn’t like crowds or parties and loves chocolate truffles . . the person who likes to scoot around the park wearing her purple coat and summer beanie. . . the person who loves to help others when her own world is calm and organised enough for her to do so . . . 

Who should I be? – ME – just ME!

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Highly Sensitives – Time to Let Ourselves Off the Hook!

fishing

Feeling insecure for a reason that feels outside of your control doesn’t always equal fear

Feeling easily stressed or overloaded by small things  doesn’t always equal anger

Feeling helpless and unable to change something doesn’t always equal guilt.

But it can appear as this to those that are close to us. Maybe they pick up that deep down this is how we are perceiving ourselves.

Is it time to let yourself off the hook?

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What is it Like to Be Highly Sensitive to Light and Colour?

  • Colours can appear to change with light over cause of day or seasonally confusing my brain
  • I feel that I can see predominantly blue, red or green light in the atmosphere some days. This is seasonal. Red makes me feel warm, Blue makes me feel cold and insecure, Green makes me feel like I have an allergy – itchy nose and snuffly.
  • I am not able to comfortably focus on green, orange, yellow or brown between April and Oct.
  • The grass looks and feels too bright for most of the year.
  • I struggle to make sense of pattern on and off between April and Oct.
  • I see colours as standing out, feeling too intense some days. This is seasonal – this could be blue, red, purple, orange, yellow, turquoise or pink.
  • I am disturbed by some colour combinations especially involving blue, green and yellow
  • I am uncomfortable sleeping in a dark room but contrast also disturbs me and my eyes take a while to adjust to light change.
  • I feel disturbed by some weather – especially stormy and overcast.
  • My other senses are affected by colour eg. Something will taste more sweet or have little taste in a different environment.

 

 

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Irlens Syndrome – I Can See the Warmth in the World!

warmth dandelion

When I had my first diagnostic for Irlens I chose a tint that would stop the glare but not change too much else.  I didn’t want to admit to myself that there was much wrong with my view of the world. And I didn’t want to take my glasses off and feel that things appeared worse than with them on.

However after struggling with my first tint for 3 weeks I realised there was something wrong.  I was still feeling tense and out of sorts. So I had another diagnostic and this time I decided to push the boat out and look for something new – something better. After going through most of the box as before and saying ‘not right’, ‘too strong’ to most of them, we chanced on a pair of rust coloured tints (still in the neutral section.) I put these to my eyes and remember saying to my diagnostican ‘Wow, what is in these things?’ and I said ‘Wow’ quite a few more times! I asked what colour the lenses were putting back and I was told they weren’t putting anything back, just balancing the colours. Whatever they were doing, I knew I had to have these lenses!

When my lenses arrived I still felt ‘Wow’. When I wear them I feel taller, more confident, happier, more grounded and that my diaphragm opens up. The really amazing thing is, though, that I feel cosier and warmer, having had a temperature problem for my whole life. I actually feel that things are a tiny bit closer together (almost imperceptible and yet I feel it). I also feel that I want to be closer to things like a table or a work surface in the kitchen. I feel as if my depth perception has changed but more than this, my new experience of colour is drawing me more into to the world when I used to be of a hands off person. I didn’t realise that the colour of the work surface was repelling me – not good when you want to cook and wash the dishes! I didn’t realise that the corner shop felt miles away because my feeling associated with colour changed my perception of distance. This explains why I have suffered with separation anxiety even as an adult.

So what is in my lenses? Obviously a colour I needed to help me see the warmth in the world!

 

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Why Do We Need Healing?

We all react in different ways to our life experiences and these reactions become habitual.  For example providing that as a child we have experienced comfort when we have been frightened, as an adult we will naturally self-comfort or ask for comfort in a similar situation. In our bodies and ourselves we will immediately feel better. However if we weren’t comforted as a child our reaction will be the opposite – we will have no natural reaction to self comfort and will repel comfort from others.  In our bodies we will feel tense and out of sorts.  Somewhere within ourselves we hold the memory of an event that happened to us way back in our past. 

We need healing when we hold negative memories which block our ability to enjoy the positives in ourselves and our lives. 

To find out more about how could help you heal / move forwards in your life / find your purpose please go to Healing Sessions or Healing for Children

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Irlens Syndrome and Your Experience of Intimacy and Expansiveness

umbrela

I’m still waiting for my Irlens glasses . . . meanwhile I am trying to learn all I can about my experience of colour and light.

Yesterday was a hot sunny day.  My son who is 9 and also has Irlens Syndrome decided he wanted to go to the beach.  I thought ‘Well, this is the first time we have been to the beach since our Irlens diagnosis so it might be interesting!’

We arrived at the bustling seaside town of Lyme Regis (our nearest coastal town) and I had worn a fleece and a summer beany because I am always cold and feel shivery in the sun. As soon as I got out of the car I realised that in my effort to stay warm I had forgotten to bring a hat with a brim to shelter me from the sunlight so our first stop was the hat shop! From a small collection of hats on a stand outside a little seaside store I chose a hat. I wouldn’t usually choose anything so quickly but the light from the sun felt unbearable and the buzz on the prom and the nearby icecream store was beginning to jangle me. There was no mirror, it was slightly too large but my husband said it looked good and I had no intention of taking it off so we bought it!

Under the refuge of my hat I still needed to find shade so we went up into the park that rises steeply and looks out over the sea. It is a considerable slope and there were many steps to climb. My legs felt like lead.  Strange – they were fine when I got up that morning. Ah, it must have been the light. When we reached our shady spot I felt relieved. I looked out over the bay and thought about the colours. The blue sky was ok to me through my sunglasses that have a brown tint. The sea I could tell was a gorgeous combination of blues and deep turquoises but my reaction did not match my perception. I felt unmoved by the colours. They were ok to me probably because of their luminescence – otherwise I may I felt repelled by them. I then thought about how I felt in other ways. I felt very ungrounded and pretty disconnected with myself and my family. I felt like everything was too big – the sea, the sky – and I asked myself the question ‘What am I doing there if it doesn’t make me happy?’

By this time I wanted to go home but my son reminded me that we had to go to the beach. Oh no, I looked down at the beach and all the buzz and colours and the walk in the bright sunlight to get there . . . and  then I conceded that I would give it a try.

When we had climbed down the slope and reached the streets running adjacent to the beach I felt ok but when we arrived at the beach itself I was amazed to find that the sand looked glary to me – sandy coloured and glary! Why had I never noticed this before? So many times I haven’t been happy on a beach but I hadn’t realised that it was the colour. It looked miles down to the sea and the blue didn’t look so good now as it had looked from up high in our shady spot. How was I ever going to make it? I felt upset that I couldn’t bear to go to the sea with my son.  And I didn’t want to wait while my husband took my son to the sea. Why would I? I was hot and shivery and all the colours were looking wrong to me.  I didn’t feel safe to just be left by myself. The beach didn’t feel like a friendly local little beach. To me under the glare of the sunlight and with the subtle visual distortion I was experiencing it felt more like the Sahara Desert!

A Revelatory Moment!

My glasses are going to help balance the colours. At the moment I feel that I am not picking up enough red and as red is a grounding colour I am not able to feel grounded. Colours that make me feel more expanded (blues and greens) look wrong because of the absence of red. Therefore I can’t enjoy feeling expansive either.  Colours that make me feel safe – the earthy colours some way between grounded and expansive – yellows, browns and oranges – also look wrong because of the absence of red. So I feel I have no grounded place, no safe place and no exciting place to go. I am STUCK and all because of my perception of colour!

Is colour affecting your experience of enjoying the wonder of intimacy and the excitement of expansiveness? Maybe you have irlens Syndrome.  If my article resonates with you please check out the website below.

Irlens Syndrome

 

 

 

 

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