Fear of Separation is Always at the Heart of Anxiety

waving goodbye

The biggest epidemic in our societies today is separation (disconnection with self and the world)  It is this feeling that leads people to suffer with low self esteem, live a life where they find it difficult to be true to themselves and ultimately dis-ease.   So why do we feel separate?  We send our children to childcare and nursery school, separating them from the essential mother child bond for hours at a time before they are barely able to hold their heads up.  Many families are separated by broken marriages.   Many families who live together live quite separate lives.  Many of us don’t know our neighbours. We travel separately and don’t meet in towns as we used to.  Isn’t it amazing when it snows and we meet people in the street, walking to town to get some bread because the Waitrose delivery lorry couldn’t get through and our car won’t start? That’s my favourite day of the year!

Some of us choose a form of spirituality that continues in us this feeling of separateness. We separate ourselves from the rest of the world when we feel that we have the answers.  We separate ourselves from the goodness of the world when we decide that we have to eat this food and that food and do this thing and that thing just to survive on the planet.  We separate ourselves from our very beings when we try to empty ourselves in spiritual practices and meditation.  We separate ourselves from God when we decide that we are in control and that we can use the power of our thoughts to draw to ourselves what we want.

Anxiety has little to do with being dependent on a significant other.  This is simply the symptom.  The cause is a sense of separation that runs deep in the core of our being.  It may have happened at our birth or in childhood, we may have inherited it from our parents but however it happened, I believe it is our deepest journey to find our sense of safety within ourselves and the world.  When we find that feeling, we will no longer tolerate separateness and we will do everything in our power to create strong bonds with our children, our families and the world.  We will fall into God’s arms and gladly admit that we can’t do it on our own.

All we all really want is to feel safe, loved and at home in ourselves and the world.

The Disregarded Art of Motherly Intuition

negotiating 3

I took my child to see an orthoptist about his vision issues when he was 9 and the first set of tests were fine. They were using cards and not a light to be seen! Then the orthoptist suggested my son would need a full examination that day in another room. I saw the colour drain from my son’s face and saw him holding back his tears.  Bright lights gave him terrible headaches and knock him out of sorts for hours. I reached over to touch his arm and said “It’s OK, We do everything as a family. You don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to. Or you could just give it a try. It is up to you.” I saw a pained look on the orthoptist’s face and looks were exchanged between him and his student who was in there observing the session. The look was saying startlingly obviously “ANXIOUS NEUROTIC PARENT ALERT” Things were written on bits of paper and the student was asked to take the message to the ophthalmologist. When we arrived in the ophthalmologist’s room she had a knowing look in her eyes. It said “I SEE YOU. YOU ARE THE ANXIOUS NEUROTIC PARENT!” My son was asked about the test and he said he would give it a go. The ophthalmologist said she would use her dimmer light first and it wasn’t long before my son refused to proceed with the test. Next came the expected – the criticism of Mum! The accusation that I was putting my anxiety onto my son by giving him the option of not taking the test.

How dare she?! She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know my story or the journey we are on.

I am NOT an anxious neurotic parent. I am simply a mother who knows herself, knows her son, knows her journey and TRUSTS HER INTUITION.

Please share your motherly intuition stories. I would love to hear them.

 

Light Watchers in Winter!

So what do the colour sensitive do in winter?

Well, I guess we are all different, but for me the light feels very clear sometimes in the winter and and this makes my head feel more clear than in the summer when I really struggle to process.

I love to create with music in the winter because I am happier with sounds and rhythms and actually enjoy hearing them dancing together!

I hope you enjoy my first guitar loop video!

Jigsaw Puzzles for Tetrachromats?

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Firstly I don’t do know if I am a tetrachromat or not but I certainly see a lot of colours!

And there is something about doing a jigsaw puzzle with snow that really gets me going! I love working with the different shades of white. I can’t do the puzzle on a cloudy day – when I can’t pick up all the light frequencies – only a day when there is enough blue and violet light around to make the whites ‘sing’.

Who Shall I be? ME – just ME!

flowerI have always wanted to BE something. I thought if I could just BE something then I would feel ok about myself and others would be happy with me.

So what should I be? Shall I be the music teacher as I have a musical gift? Should I be the artist as I have a desire to express my childlike spirit? Should I be a healer so I can feel part of other people’s positive change? What shall I be?

ME – just ME!  The person who gets up in the morning and says to God “What shall I do today?” The person who looks out of the window and gets carried away with seeing a flock of crows perched on the branches of our big tree or the pounding of the rain on our driveway . . .the person who may pick up a musical instrument only if it feels ok to feel the strings, sense the rhythm and hear the tones TODAY  . . .the person who is looking for a hug and kind words by 10:00 in the morning . . . the person who finds the green of the grass too bright some days, doesn’t like crowds or parties and loves chocolate truffles . . the person who likes to scoot around the park wearing her purple coat and summer beanie. . . the person who loves to help others when her own world is calm and organised enough for her to do so . . . 

Who should I be? – ME – just ME!

connection

Connection feels like a warm embrace. You feel able to breathe, digest, give and receive, create, speak your truth, ask for your needs and most of all – be yourself and know your place in the world.

What causes us to disconnect?

Now knowing who we are and Self Doubt.

What causes us to connect?

Knowing Ourselves and Living Our Purpose.

 

 

How do You Keep Your Heart Open?

holding-hands

I know I ‘see’ people’s energy but it doesn’t mean I have all the answers to life, the universe and everything! However I have some answers and answers come when we ask questions. The question I have been asking for a long time is ‘How do we keep our hearts open?’ I’ve asked this question because I know how good open heartedness feels. We don’t just feel warm and fuzzy but we breath better, digest better, speak with more conviction, think more clearly,  have a strong back, energetic legs, enthusiastic arms  and happily let in others. I also know that closing our hearts can cause us to feel the opposite of all the above leading to anxiety, depression and fatigue.

So . . . How Do We Keep Our Hearts Open?

We need to:-

  • Embrace the wonderful feeling of security in our lives – home, friends, family, community, nature, routine – anything that helps us feel more secure.

  • Connect with something that makes us feel inspired – art, music, movement, nature,  our passions.

  • Express our true selves and speak our truth.

  • Know we are loved and good enough as we are.

  • Trust God/Our Purpose.

So . . . What Closes Our Hearts?

  • Trying to be independent.

  • Connecting with things that don’t inspire us.

  • Living too much in our heads and our thinking.

  • Believing we are unlovable and that there is something inherently wrong with us.

  • Trusting only ourselves.

    Which do you choose?

 

 

 

 

Highly Sensitives, What You Connect With is Your Choice

happy thoughts

If we are so good at feeling our pain and the pain of other people we should be really good at feeling love, joy and peace!  We are experts at deep connection and it is our choice what we connect with.

Our fear that we do not deserve deep connection keeps us connecting with our negative thoughts. After-all, as Highly Sensitives, we need meaningful connection to feel alive.  We have to connect with something.  Let’s give ourselves a break and connect with our happy thoughts, our good feelings, our blessings, the ones who love us unconditionally and faith that all is well.