I didn’t grow up living by the light. I grew up like most other people getting up in the morning, thinking about what I was going to do, where I was going to go and then trying to fulfil my plan for the day. I was completely oblivious to the light and how it might be making me feel.
But now I do live by the light and today I was thinking about how difficult it is to live in a way that feels so different and unusual. Then I wondered what it would have been like if I had grown up believing that it was a completely usual things to do.
I imagined having a conversation with my mother when I was 3 and this is how it went.
Mum – Jennie, come with me and look out of the window and tell me what you see.
Me – I see houses and trees and the sky.
Mum – And what colour are they?
Me – The houses are red, the trees are green and the sky is blue.
Mum – Do you see anything else? Can you see the light? Is there another colour out there?
Me – Well, there is a sort of funny blue feeling
Mum – Ah, you see blue. And does it make you feel something?
Me – it makes me feel cuddly
Mum – How do think you would feel outside today?
Me – Not sure, maybe a bit lonely.
Mum – I see. Well, light is very important. We all live by the light. You know the sun is very important and the moon?
Me – Yes
Mum – Well, the light makes us feel different ways. It can make you have different moods. And it makes you choose different coloured clothes and eat different food. So we don’t all do the same thing every day. We all have to live by the light to really feel good.
Me – Oh, I see, so that is why I chose my blue dress today. it wasn’t really me. it was the light!
Mum – Yes, Exactly!