Sensory Processing – To Hide or to Be My Insecure Self in the World? – That is the Question!

looking through window

I have spent my whole life wondering why I have this tension in my body, I can’t always think straight and I feel sort of insecure a lot of the time. I have really worked my socks off to get to the bottom of this and I thought after 12 years of very intense therapy and working with my issues around the clock, that at least one morning I could get up and feel relaxed!

But no! It seems I was wrong! There is something more than issues or anxiety going on. And it is all about my senses and my difficulty with processing. I can find it difficult to process light, colour, sound, taste, touch, motion, temperature and mine and other people’s emotions.

So what do I do? Do I hide? Or do I take my insecure self out into the world?

Well, I’m done hiding! I’m done waiting until I feel sorted enough to make me feel worthy of being in the world. I’m done waiting for others to give me their nod of approval that says ‘Yes, You’re ok now, You’re good enough to be one of us!”  I’m even done waiting to feel secure enough to dare to step into the world.

I AM DONE WAITING!

I know I am quirky, I know I look tense, I know I can appear socially awkward, I know I can look insecure and scared. I know I can swing between seeming distant and a chatterbox.  I know I don’t seem like a teacher or a healer and certainly not a leader . . .

But I am . . . and I AM HERE!

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Sensory Processing – To Hide or to Be My Insecure Self in the World? – That is the Question!

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your blog post 🙂 I got told that I have a sensory disorder today & that’s why I have trouble with these things. Your post made me feel more positive & uplifted so thank you & good luck 🙂

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    1. Beth, Good to meet you here. Thanks so much for you comment 🙂 Whereabouts in the world are you? In the UK thee is no diagnosis for SPD but I am going to see a neurologist and see what he makes of me! The toughest thing for me is that my family (my parents and siblings) have never understood and just label me as anxious and neurotic. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband and sensitive, caring son 🙂

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      1. And you! Are you? Good for you! I’m in the UK & was told by the psychologist that SPD was part of my triad of things. Bless you, it’s amazing they’re so supportive. I bet that really helps? X

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      2. Well, I am a bit socially awkward, am very one passion focused and I don’t have the usual filter but I don’t think I will get a diagnosis of Aspergers. I think there is a lot of overlap though when it comes to high sensitivity. My son and I have traits of all sorts! Where in Wales? I went to college in South Wales.

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