I have spent my whole life trying to understand my difficulties through the wrong lens! I made the mistake of thinking all my issues were emotional/psychological.
Now I know I have Irlens Syndrome (a light processing disorder) I see things in a very different light!
I might not have/never have had separation and social anxiety after all.
When I have driven somewhere in glary or uncomfortable light or had to spend time under florescent lighting I have felt anxious, dizzy and shivery and have had a disassociated feeling. I thought this meant I didn’t trust people or myself. But now I realise that when I am with people in the right light and colours appear normal I feel my trusting, happy, confident and grounded self.
Irlens has caused me to work at my relationship with myself and the world in a way that most people wouldn’t dream of needing to do! The only way to feel comfortable in the world has been to find a way to be comfortable with my vulnerability and find a deep level of self acceptance.
This has been my journey so far. But when I have my Irlens glasses . . . well, I’ll keep you posted!