I woke up this morning and went straight to look out of my window. The sky was a soft blue and there just a few puffy clouds. I looked right at the blue just to make sure I could focus on that colour today. I could. I felt pleased. I sat at my computer and did a few bits and pieces. The screen didn’t disturb.
I had some intense thoughts in my head about my work with highly sensitive children and I pondered on them for a brief time. Then I looked out of the window again and found that I couldn’t focus so easily on the sky and the light had become a little disturbing. My environment hadn’t really changed in those ten minutes. I had changed. I had gone from calm and chilled to intense and alert. I had so much intensity inside myself that I had no room for the soft blue of the sky. I was already on overload.
It is May and I know this is an intense time of the year for me but my reaction to all the intensity inside of me and outside of me scares me. Why do I feel everything so deeply – my feelings, the feelings of others, the light? Why do I struggle to find anything to do that makes me feel ok? It makes me feel very helpless, very vulnerable. It gives me a deep feeling of inadequacy but really the inadequacy shouldn’t be there.
I am just Acutely Highly Sensitive!
|Definition of acutely – extremely, exceedingly, very, markedly, severely, intensely, in the extreme, deeply, profoundly, keenly, sharply, painfully, desperately, awfully, terribly, tremendously, enormously, thoroughly, heartily|