We want to feel more connected with ourselves and the world.
Why are we leaving Relationship with God out of the Equation?
I wonder why people, in their search for spirituality, choose to leave out relationship with God, these days. Some people have told me that they find my spirituality immature because I depend on God as a person and this has puzzled me. What is immature about recognising our need to rely on someone greater and wiser than ourselves? It seems pretty sensible to me! When I look inside myself I see imperfection, flaws, a lack of total clarity about who I am and my direction in life. I see fear, uncertainty and doubt. How could learning to simply trust myself and find my inner power and strength possibly be enough? Even with all the healing in the world and developing a lifestyle of living with acute self awareness , self- connectedness and self honouring, I am still left with my imperfect human self. However when I look to God I see perfection, wholeness, total love and complete wisdom. I see everything I long for. And every day a little bit more of this wonder and magic is revealed to me, in God’s way and in God’s timing.
Could I be talking about what some people call their higher self, assuming that this refers to our God self – the part of us that is one with God and limitless? I’ve thought about this a lot and on one hand it doesn’t seem so far removed from my experience of chatting to God as a greater being, but on another hand it feels a bit lonely. It means that all I need in life to be happy, well and fulfilled is actually within myself and I just need to keep tapping into it. Thinking about this suddenly I have lost the wonder of my relationship with God. I feel an acute sense of responsibility to work out my own journey. I lose touch with my childlike spirit. To think like this, I lose the very essence of who I am.
My faith that others may find immature, I find immensely comforting. When I suffered with Chronic Fatigue for 6 years and for 2 of those years was reduced to lying down, barely able to hold a conversation even with my husband, I spoke to God. I shared my pain, my fears, my conundrms and my hopes. To feel that all I had to rely on was my higher self at this time, I am sure would have broken me. I do not see my faith as childish but it does allow me to me to be child-like.
I don’t feel the need to read lots of books and go on workshops or practice rituals and techniques. I don’t feel the need to travel the world and glean from a million cultures people’s insights about how to be more ‘spiritual’. I don’t feel the need to seek enlightenment or become part of a spiritual revolution.
My only need is to get up every day, to say ‘What shall we to today, God?’ and listen out for the answer.