Most of us know what it is like to feel at odds with ourselves. It happens sometimes. However feeling disassociated with yourself is an altogether stronger and more unpleasant feeling. The terms I have always used are that I feel ‘out of my body’ or ‘not present with myself’. When we feel like this we are not in touch with ourselves, our needs or our energy. It is as if we are divided against ourselves. it is a draining and empty place to be.
What can we do about it? I think the first thing is to accept it and not fight the feeling. Even tell someone you are feeling that way. if possible. I might tell my husband and he will say ” It’s OK. I’m holding onto you so you won’t float off”! This immediately makes me feel better but I still can’t ‘snap out’ of the feeling.
The next thing is to wonder why we have escaped from ourselves. What has shocked us out of ourselves. And believe me, when this has been your experience in an ongoing way, the simplest things can shock you out of yourself. It may be that you feel criticised. It may equally be that you feel loved but don’t feel worthy of love or are frightened to let it in. For me it is often the fear that I am not good enough and a whole mass of things bring this to the surface again and again.
Then you can try to work out where in your body you are feeling the disassociation. I feel it a lot less these days because I have got better at letting love and acceptance in. When you feel connected in your heart area you feel stronger, happier and able to cope with life. However I often dissociate with my limbs and I think this is because of my fear of really connecting with the world. Sometimes my arms just feel empty and I have to continue with my life feeling this unpleasant disconnected feeling in my arms and hands. Sometimes I feel the disassociation in my legs when I am scared to stand on my own two feet and move forwards. For some reason I just refuse to connect with them and no amount of grounding exercises make any difference at all.
It really helps to know where the disassociation is in your body. There is no instant remedy but awareness is the first step. And at least when you wake up feeling lack lustre you have some deeper idea of why you feel out of sorts with yourself today.